Tuesday, July 15, 2025

We’ve all heard the phrase “give better than you got,” but usually it’s delivered with a slightly raised eyebrow — part challenge, part consolation, and sometimes a quiet warning. Maybe someone was unfair to you, so you’re being encouraged to break the cycle. Or maybe you’re being reminded of how much more is possible when you respond with grace instead of grudge.

I’ve started to see it differently, not just as a reaction to poor treatment, but as a philosophy. A way of showing up that doesn’t wait to be earned.

It’s easy…natural, even — to mirror back the treatment we receive. We match energy, reflect tone, respond in kind. It’s part of being human. But when we choose instead to outdo someone’s poor behavior with kindness, someone’s indifference with interest, or someone’s cynicism with hope, we’re not just being noble. We’re reclaiming authorship. We’re deciding that the story doesn’t stop with what we were handed.

There’s a quiet strength in deciding to give better than you got, not because you’re better than someone else, but because you’re better than the moment you’re in. That’s the kind of character that reshapes a conversation, a workplace, a relationship. It says, “I see what this could be. Let me show you.”

And of course, it doesn’t always mean being sweet or agreeable. Sometimes giving better than you got means holding a boundary more firmly than it was held for you. It might mean choosing truth where you were given silence, or vulnerability where you were met with walls. Either way, it’s not about sugarcoating. It’s about investing a little more dignity into the world than what was offered to you.

None of us can control the way we’re treated in every moment. But we do get to decide how we show up. And I’ve found that giving better than you got isn’t just good for the world; it’s also good for the soul. It keeps you soft where you could rigidly calcify. It keeps you generous where you could grow over-guarded. And it keeps you moving forward when the past wants to keep pulling you back.

So this week, maybe seize one small chance and choose to give better than you got. Even if you only try it just once. Not to be perfect. Just to practice what kind of person you’d like to be.

Until Next Time,

Mary Schuster
Chief Knowledge Officer
October Research, LLC