Tuesday, August 19, 2025

There’s a strange thing about community — it works best when you don’t agree on everything.

I’ve been thinking lately about what keeps a group of very different people from turning into opponents. It’s not the sameness of opinion; it’s the sameness of agreement about the rules that let us live together.

Think about the rules of the road. Some people like to drive fast, some slow. Some love big trucks, some drive little hybrids. None of that really matters so long as we all agree to stop at red lights and stay on our side of the yellow line. Without those agreements, it doesn’t take long for the road to become dangerous — not because of speed or style, but because the basic agreed-upon framework has collapsed.

Societies (and nations) have their own “rules of the road,” too. Things like:

  • Letting each other speak our minds, even if it makes us uncomfortable.
  • Treating people fairly, whether we agree with them or not.
  • Protecting each other’s right to live according to conscience.
  • Staying engaged in the conversation, even when it’s hard.

These aren’t partisan values. They’re the foundation under the whole house. People can build very different wings on top — some lean a little this way, some a little that — but the house only stands if the foundation is intact.

Lately, though, I see more folks retreating into camps where the goal isn’t to live together productively, but simply to win. It sounds strong, but it’s actually fragile. If we decide that the “other side” no longer deserves the same liberties and the same allowances we claim for ourselves, we’re not just rejecting them — we’re rejecting the shared room we all stand in.

The American experiment was never meant to be comfortable all the time. It was meant to be possible all the time. That possibility rests on the idea that we make room for disagreement, and even more importantly, we make room for each other.

Maybe the real work ahead isn’t persuading everyone to see things our way, but protecting the space where many ways can live side by side, without breaking the floor beneath us.

And if we’re honest, there’s room for all of us — myself included — to get better at that.

Until Next Time,

Mary Schuster
Chief Knowledge Officer
October Research, LLC